Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Exile


The panel was about exile, I enjoyed it, the presenter talked about a gay author exiled in and outside his country.
The third paper was boring I even don't remember what it was about, I walked out and many thoughts were burning in my head, I am exiled, at my country, house and even with my friends and the people I love.

I walked out and didn't know where to go; I can't leave the place of the panels, I have to stay for the next one, but I was exiled and have a strong will of escaping and being transparent, I don't want to be seen or see any one.

I found my self at the rest room, no one was there, all were in there panels, Marriot hotels rest room!! I stood there alone watching the walls; God knows what thoughts I had in mind then, all what I remember was you dominating my mind and thoughts- for the rest of my life you will because I loved you and I love you and I will always love you.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

"ASYLUM FOR MANKIND"

Ever since the Age of Discovery, Europeans have viewed the New World as a haven for the victims of religious persecution and a dumping ground for social liabilities. Marilyn C. Baseler shows how the New World’s role as a refuge for the victims of political, as well as religious and economic, oppression gradually devolved on the thirteen colonies that became the United States. She traces immigration patterns and policies to show how the new American Republic became an “asylum for mankind.”
Baseler explains how British and colonial officials and landowners lured settlers from rival nations with promises of religious toleration, economic opportunity, and the “rights of Englishmen,” and identifies the liberties, disabilities, and benefits experienced by different immigrant groups. She also explains how the exploitation of slaves, who immigrated from Africa in chains, subsidized the living standards of Europeans who came by choice.American revolutionaries enthusiastically assumed the responsibility for serving as an asylum for the victims of political oppression, according to Baseler, but soon saw the need for a probationary period before granting citizenship to immigrants unexperienced in exercising and safeguarding republican liberty. Revolutionary Americans also tried to discourage the immigration of those who might jeopardize the nation’s republican future. Her work defines the historical context for current attempts by municipal, state, and federal governments to abridge the rights of aliens.

Reviews
"[W]ell researched. . . . Recommended for undergraduates and above."--Choice"Baseler's study of immigration policy will be sought out by historians and graduate students and is likely to stand as an authoritative treatment of the notion of American Asylum."--Journal of American History"Baseler skillfully weaves her close examination of British mercantile thought and American republican rhetoric into a detailed analysis of the immigration policies that shaped the settlement of early America. The result is a fresh account of the original debates on immigration's role in American society.
The book is suitable for graduate students and upper-level undergraduates, but should appeal to all readers interested in the origins of American immigration policy and the complex and contested images of the American asylum."--Philip Otterness, Perspectives on Political Science. Fall, 1999."[Baseler] addresses in thoughtful and persuasive ways the extent to which the promise of freedom and opportunity was realized in the lives of American immigrants. Complex motives and ambiguous effects constitute the fundamental theme of this balanced and comprehensive study...
This is a valuable, compelling, and highly recommended study."--James H. Kettner, University of California, Berkeley, The Annals of the American Academy. November, 1999."Richly documented, well written, and systematically argued, . . . Baseler's study of the colonial and revolutionary years offers new insights into America's role in the Atlantic world."--Nonald MacRaild, Immigrants and Minorities. March, 1999."This study establishes the primacy of the colonial period in laying the foundation for America's subsequent experience with immigration. . .
In dense and often fascinating detail, she locates the origin of the idea of America as asylum in seventeenth-century England."--American Historical Review. April, 2000."Asylum for Mankind succeeds admirably as a political and intellectual analysis of migration policy in Britain and the new American republic. It is a book that, in filling an interpretive gap, has also opened up a new range of questions about the initial populating of the United States."--James A. Henretta, University of Maryland. Journal of Social History, Fall 2000"[R]eaders will find this work valuable...The book is notable for its range, its assiduous references to recent scholarship, and its orientation to the Atlantic world...[T]hought-provoking."--Anita Tien.
William and Mary Quarterly, January 2001

About the Author
Marilyn C. Baseler is currently Assistant Professor of History at the University of Texas at Austin.

I damn you out of my shame

"You in my mortified soul, made your bed and domain, abhorrence, to whom I'm bound, as the convict to the chain, as the drunkard to the jug, as the gambler to the game, as the vermin to the corpse, I damn you out of my shame"
It tastes like shit, but I need it; I feel anger in my teeth and muscles, Someone rang the bell and waited a bit, he didn't move to open the door, the second rang was angry but he didn't move.
I feel like destroying something around me. This is the third cigarette in a row: it tastes good now.

Monday, September 11, 2006

I had a dream


Last night I didn't sleep well... I remember I woke up maybe each 1 hour or less, and I had a dream, so wired and so indescribable.

I was walking in an opened area, I don't remember trees or buildings or anything, I started to walk faster because I could feel someone's steps are following me…I didn't turn my face and I kept walking, after few minutes I decided to turn my face and I saw tens of people following me, all kind of people with all feelings, some looked at me with anger, others with fear, hatred, love… all kind of feelings and all were trying to catch or touch me. Some managed to touch me and OMG any one's hands that touches me melt or burn!! No one could hold his grip on me!!
Few minutes later I found my self in a big bus holding a beautiful baby in my arms- it's not mine, it was so beautiful and peaceful, I was trying to keep it close to me, I knew inside that it was so weak and I should protect though it looks so healthy, I was talking slowly to people and asking them to do the same, I was watching out that no one speaks loud coz the baby might be frightened or maybe sleeping!!
It was a boy but I gave it a girly name that I can't remember.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

It hurts when a person counts…


When one and three exists but not two… when you realize that you are the "two" that never existed!!

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

I miss you guys

"The eyes are the windows of the soul" Jacob today asked me about the brown eyes, Adam's eyes talks a lot also!!


When we were drawing the map of the world it was fun, Nuno is very neat and knows how to make simple ideas great ones!!
All of us almost worked on this, I did at the last day, all were amazing, Holly's voice, Rory's frown, Madlen's laugh from time to time, Adam's annoying and adorable remarks :D

Adam was using the red paint when he asked me to draw any thing and he draw a nice red heart, we were working in the sun, I got sun burn but where the heart was I didn't and still I have a white non burned shaped heart on my arm!!
Mark also draw a girl a little green one- amazing Mark!! The girl also still drawn by the non burned skin on the other arm!!

By the time I will lose those 2 nice drawing but I will always have it burned in my soul!!

Thursday, June 29, 2006

قد لا أكون يوما كل ما حلمت به
ولكني أريدك أن تعرف أني يوما حلمت بك
وان تعرف أني خفت منك ومن كل ما يعيدني إليك
علمت روحي أن تهواك وترضى بأسوار تضربها حولي ويوما لم ترضى بالأسوار
وأنت تعلم أكثر مني فانا منك وأنت مني
فلماذا فتحت لي الأبواب؟
ولماذا نسيت انك عاهدتني أني للعمر سجينة؟
وانك أنت سجاني؟
ووعدتني أني سأخسر رهاني؟
و ها انأ ذا ربحت وكم تمنيت أن اخسر
ووعدتني أني سأخسر رهاني؟
و ها انأ ذا ربحت وكم تمنيت أن اخسر

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Time with Zajel's is a time of celebration to me, a small party at the office, a gathering at the restaurant next to the University any place with Ala, Mira, Fawwaz, Wafa, Jihad… is heaven.

Last Thursday was different " music without boarders" where the band playing music that evening at the new theatre and we all where waiting this event.
The first time ever when I was dressing up for the concert I had that feeling of deep loneliness, that me going to this concert is pointlessm I dropped my hands staring at my face in the mirror and wondering why would I go? with all Zajel'z around me and close friends I felt like I need a more close person, someone who is attached to my soul, to taste and enjoy this music with me.
At 6:30 we were all there. Zajel's are receiving people at the entrance, and I stood with them and chatted a bit and laughed and watched people entering, Jalal was great, leading people to their seats and I was laughing and chatting with Wafa and Fawwaz. Mira was moving here and there.

At last the concert started at 7:15, we were seated and waiting, the hall was completely filled and people were waiting, the music started and the musicians were controlling us with their music and singing sometimes, the conductor of the band has a great voice with which he can lift us to the highest levels of excitement or to the deepest levels of sadness, music from different parts of the words were played and many languages I could only distinguish were sang.

With All the Zajel's around me and close friends next to me a feeling of deep loneliness was increasing, the music was soul and heart blowing, the more it became great and exciting the more I felt the need for someone to share me this pleasure and taste the music with me.
A huge emptiness and a wide distance was separating me from every one around me, was it the music or me??

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

The image was perfect last night...i could feel you...i could see you i even could smell your skin.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Every thing was unique, brilliant and out there… It's all burnt in my mind… It will take me for ever to start waking up without your faces in my mind… At the checkpoint of Nablus we stuck in the jam, I was behind him and 6 persons were in between, and he turned his face… for few seconds I asked my self: "I saw this face before! Where?" It's Hani… I bet there is something in those eyes reminds me of eyes I met in other parallel life!


And the brown eyes fades away again…

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

متعب أنا

وقلت من جديد :ليس عندي فرح أعلنه ..
فتنحى عن طريقي..
تحطم القنديل الصغير..
وتكسرت الشموع ..
ليس عندي فرح أجمعه..
صدقوني..متعب أنا

Thursday, May 04, 2006


"Too much make up you are using today" he said

Well- i didn't feel that it was so, or that i meant to when i was getting ready to the concert.
Then I asked my self: is it a mask to hide my face?
Am I using colors to hide the sadness in my face and drive them gaze at the bright colors instead of the bale and dark colors in my eyes?
i knew that it was so clear in my eyes and all can read it easily!!!

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

حبيبتي رحلت

حبيبتي رحلت
كزجاجة عطر تتكسر...رحلت
كـأقول بروج تتلألأ...رحلت
كقصيدة شعر ما اكتملت...رحلت
كنسائم أيار الرائعة...رحلت
كالامواج تنحسر عن شاطئها...رحلت
كرمال تنساب من ساعاتي...رحلت
رحلت حبيبتي...رحلت

Sunday, April 30, 2006

keep it

When it's so blank and I'm washed away into oceans of different feelings, all I think about is listening to you talking and watching you moving around slowly, working o ur computer, heading to the fridge, back with a glass of water, pause then sit again and resume work.
I love watching you and hearing you talking even if I'm not listening just your voice flow.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Outrage

I asked him to choose

"Yasyousa no comment about ur email! i want u both u decide"

Friday, April 28, 2006

for you

Just for you and you know that it's just you.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Never Leave Me

You promised me not to be Brad and not to make me Elian but you lied again and again.

You are Bard and I will end up Elain.